That's a baseball, not a cupcake!

Hey everyone, it's been awhile.  So I apologize to the 98 of you that read my first blog and have been feverishly awaiting the next one.  I promise they will become more frequent from now on.  I know this is called the irrationality blog, but I'm going to take a break from that and talk about one of the meatiest phenomena in baseball--Husky men having an impact.

Some of today's best players have been following in the colossal footprints of Babe Ruth, baseball's original front-end loader, and packing on the pounds to play their best.  So what is it that makes these players so good? Steroids, training, practice, talent?  No apparently the answer is as simple as the drive-thru window at KFC and a few bottles of Sam Adams. 

We all know the key to winning in the MLB playoffs is impact players (although Buster Olney may contend that it's simply pitching).  Well, the funny thing about the 2011 edition of October's impact players is that every team in the playoffs has one with a body mirroring Jackie Gleason.  That's right, I just went there.  Why are a majority of the impact players we hear about on a daily basis total loads? 

Texas Rangers--Nelson Cruz, Adrian Beltre, Matt Harrison all rocking cheese tits.

Detroit Tigers--Miguel Cabrera, arguably the best right-handed hitter in baseball and DUI veteran; All-star closer Jose Valverde both seem to channel power from their guts.

Milwaukee Brewers--Prince Fielder, a vegetarian who got fatter, enough said.

Courtesy Andy Behrens, Yahoo Sports

St. Louis Cardinals--Just look at Lance Berkman (you'll probably break down in laughter); Albert Pujols who, without a fat body, has somehow managed to appear as the fattest player in baseball.  The fact that his tongue has been hanging out of his mouth, likely since birth, has not helped his cause--not to mention beating it down the line like Steven Hawking (post-accident) on every ground ball.  

Other familiar fatties have become some of the most heralded names in baseball--Insert CC Sabathia, Carlos Lee, David Ortiz and Eric Gagne.

But it's not only the best players in the league that are following on the path to major league girth.  Many of the league's journeymen keep resurfacing on 2, sometimes 3 teams per year, and show up fatter every time.     Matt Stairs, Ray King, Octavio Dotel and Arthur Rhodes somehow keep finding a home in the major leagues, and are the trendsetters for prime time players letting their bodies go.  

One doesn't have to look much further than the Red Sox clubhouse for inspiration either.  During any game at Fenway park, it has become a known fact that the clubhouse resembles a college dorm room.  Some of the most familiar, highly paid faces in Boston spend all of their time in there slamming brews, owning hot wings, and building their cred in Madden Nation.  Beckett and Lackey wonder why they have turkey-necks all of a sudden.  No one has ever gotten healthier on that diet.  

I don't know what it is about packing on the pounds, but it's definitely something to explore if you want to play in the Bigs.  So kids, keep pounding down the frosties and fries and condition that body for a power hitting experience and millions of dollars.